No, no, I was only funny on stage, really. I, I, think I was funny as a person toward my classmates when I was very you...

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him,...

I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a...

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very...

The funniest racism is the racism between minorities. It's something you don't see dramatized, but almost every minority I know who's my age, they h...

Common sense is the collection of prejudices a...

Age is something that doesn't matter, unl...

I was just a ham since about the age of five. If I was performing at Medieval Times or something, I'd be the court jester. That was always my defe...

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore...

Man cannot live by bread alone; he must...

I was sleeping the other night, alone, thank...

Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of m...